Grief Is Itself Medicine
by WayLowHalo
Summary: X-Men: Apocalypse. In a hotel room in Cairo, after the showdown with the first mutant, Erik's grief catches up with him. Charles is there to see him through.


_**Warning** : Definite spoilers for _Apocalypse _._

 ** _Disclaimer_** : X-Men: Apocalypse _and all of it's characters are not mine. Never will be. The title of this story, too, is not mine. It is a quote by William Cowper (1731 - 1800)._

 **Grief Is Itself Medicine**

It's the early hours of the morning before the others are all asleep and Charles finally allows himself to fully acknowledge the voice that has been buzzing in the back of his head ever since En Sabah Nur's block faded.

The raging pain and grief that he has since been constantly aware of.

 _Erik._

Closing his eyes he reaches out with his mind.

The response is almost instantaneous.

 _'Charles?'_

Several things flit through Charles's mind to say.

What he ends up saying takes even himself by surprise but it's the truest thing he's said in longer than he cares to admit.

 _'I've missed you, old friend.'_

Erik's response is a few minutes in coming and when it does it's more broken than the telepath wants to think about.

 _'I've missed you too, Charles.'_

* * *

They end up playing chess in Erik's room, Charles unable to not respond to the pain he hears in Erik's every thought.

Between the two of them words are largely unnecessary.

Erik's wife and daughter are just under the surface of his thoughts and Charles tries not to pry but his mind is weakened from Apocalypse's assault and Erik, in his grief, is projecting far more than usual.

Charles knows that Erik needs to talk about it (he knows this even if Erik himself doesn't know) and once upon a time he wouldn't have hesitated to gently nudge his friend in the right direction. Now though... now there has just been so much time apart and Charles finds himself unsure.

Their bond still exists, of this much at least, he is certain. He can _feel_ it, thrumming and steady and alive and _there_ in that special and secret place in his head that Erik has never stopped occupying.

He knows too that Erik feels it as well; can see images of himself, of their shared past, their most intimate moments, rolling through Erik's mind and he feels warmth in the knowledge that it was these images that brought Erik back to his side.

These images that ultimately decided Erik's loyalty.

Despite all that Charles is hesitant to push Erik into facing his grief, even as he knows Erik needs to. Erik's grief all too often has the tendency of exploding in fits of rage and anger (as it very nearly did just a few short hours ago) and if that can be avoided...

If he can keep Erik this time...

"I never got to teach my daughter chess," Erik says suddenly, his voice soft, his eyes far away. "I think she would have liked it."

"I am so very sorry, my friend," Charles murmurs, feeling the inadequacy of his words. "I wish I could have met her."

Erik meets his gaze then, more vulnerable than Charles has ever seen him and all at once Charles has trouble breathing for the pain and loss he sees in his friend's eyes.

"Me too," Erik whispers, on the bare edge of his control.

"What was her name?" Charles asks softly even though he knows, of course he knows - it's been bouncing around Erik's head with increasing volume for hours.

"Nina," Erik manages and then he breaks.

Charles forgets his hesitancy, forgets that he's unsure how to respond, he just reacts.

He doesn't think about it as he rolls his chair around the table that separates them, doesn't think about it as he pushes said table aside so that he is directly in front of his old friend, their knees touching.

 _'Erik.'_

His touch on Erik's mind is unconscious, a gentle caress with all of his love and concern behind it.

And suddenly Erik is sliding out of his seat and burying his face in Charles's lap, his knees on the floor and his shoulders shaking with the force of his grief.

Charles murmurs soothingly and hugs him as best he can.

Erik grips at his oldest _(best, only)_ friend frantically and sobs his despair and pain.

Charles cards a hand through Erik's hair and does the only thing he can: he lets him cry.

- **End**.

* * *

 _ **Author's Note** : In general I find it hard to imagine Erik breaking down like this but I figure if anything could do it, the death of his child would. And if he's going to break down, I don't think he would do it with anyone other than Charles._


End file.
